20 PART THREE - THE 5 STEP COACHING EXCHANGE THE SITUATION “I am having a very difficult time working with Jerry. When we disagree we get nasty with one another.” IDENTIFY THE GAP “I get that you don’t see eye to eye. And it sounds like it’s uncomfortable for you when it gets nasty. How would you like your relationship to be?” GAP IDENTIFIED “Amicable and respectful.” “So you would like to move this relationship from having nasty disagreements to amicable and respectful disagreements?” “Yes” IDENTIFY A SUCCINCT FOCUS “What is one aspect of this, within your control, we could focus on?” Key Learning Points Identify WHAT they want to accomplish. The gap between where they are and where they want to be. A succinct focus for the time you have. Break down desired outcome for that succinct focus. Listening is the Core Coaching Skill used most. “Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” - Paulo Coelho Other examples of questions that can be asked to move into a succinct focus would be: “What is one thing that would be most helpful to focus on first?” “Where should we begin?” What do you want? And how will you know when you get it? What would you like to walk away with by the end of our conversation?
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