55 PART FOUR - THE 5 CORE COACHING SKILLS Core Skill 4 - Requesting OPPORTUNITY IDENTIFIED REQUEST IS MADE ACCEPT, REJECT OR NEGOTIATE 1 3 2 To illustrate each step we will use a case study of a Coach Approach dialogue between a manager (the coach) and her direct report (the coachee). The context of the dialogue is about the coachee feeling overwhelmed with a number of competing priorities. The coachee confides that he does not even know where to begin in finding which thing he should direct his attention to first. He says he is just reacting to whatever demands the most attention in the moment and has no idea what may be slipping through the cracks. Opportunity Identified The coach has identified an opportunity to ask the coachee to stretch his thinking. When the coach has listened deeply to the coachee’s concerns and asked questions that help clarify those concerns, the coachee returns to his feelings of being overwhelmed. This is a signal that he is stuck in his thinking and truly believes there is no way out. His frustration has clouded his ability to see any possibility of change. Request is Made The request itself should be done in very clear and succinct language and be extended in the tone of an invitation, inviting the coachee into a new possibility. THE REQUEST: “I have a request. I want you to know you can accept, reject or negotiate this with me.” COACHEE GIVES AGREEMENT: “My request is that you stop looking at this as a chronic condition and begin to look at it as an opportunity to learn.” Allowing a moment of silence for this to sink in, the coach awaits the coachee’s answer.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTMxNTEyNA==