50 “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. ” - Ralph Waldo Emerson Encouraging Listening Questioning Requesting Action Planning Encouragement, simply put, means to inspire and arouse within another courage, spirit or confidence. In coaching, encouragement begins right at the beginning with listening. When we actively listen, we automatically encourage the coachee to say more and dig deeper. We take interest in and give value to what they are saying which encourages them to go broader in their thinking and awareness. We give them the space to unpack their ideas and thoughts with silence, which encourages them to say even more than they knew they were thinking or feeling. And all the while, we’re listening for where the coachee needs encouragement. For example, places where they sound unsure of themselves, are excited about a big opportunity, or perhaps just needing to talk through a difficult situation. Everyone seeks encouragement in different ways. Some by words, some by actions, and some by a combination of both. It is up to the coach to learn how the coachee likes to be encouraged. This requires sensitivity on the coach’s part to notice how the coachee is responding to various forms of encouragement. Sometimes it may be as simple as asking someone, “How can I best encourage you?” Encouragement may not always be as obvious as you might think. In coaching, we have a constant presence of the essence of encouragement. This means that behind ALL of the coach’s words and actions is an authentic belief that the person they are coaching is capable and resourceful. True belief in the creativity and resourcefulness of another is very encouraging. To maintain this, it takes a high level of self-awareness and development on the coach’s part to know what their own personal filters are so as not to influence the coaching dialogue with limiting beliefs or opinions. Every one of the Core Coaching Skills needs to have the essence of encouragement behind it. Even when you may not agree or fear troubling consequences may ensue. If the essence of encouragement is abandoned, forward movement and thinking comes to a halt and trust is affected. As coach, your concerns and judgments need to take a backseat as the coaching process unfolds. You will learn how to explore those concerns as an exploration partner in coming chapters. Core Skill 3 - Encouraging PART FOUR - THE 5 CORE COACHING SKILLS
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