118 P E R S ON A L G R OU N DWO R K F O R C OAC H I N G ATTACHMENTS TO OUTCOMES Do you often find yourself disappointed? Disappointed in how things turned out, where things are headed or how someone responded to something? Chances are that you tend to get attached to outcomes. By this we mean that you may get very specific ideas in your mind of how things SHOULD go versus being open and flexible to how they actually DO go. This is not to suggest that we should not have intentions or form a vision of our ideal outcomes, but we must remain open and flexible as things unfold for, we may be resisting or blocking a much higher possibility to the outcome. In other words, if we find ourself rigid in our judgement of what may be a good or bad outcome, we may miss the possibility that the outcome may be far better than we anticipated. In a classic Taoist story, a wise father helps his son reduce his attachment to appearances thus releasing him to being open to the outcomes that come his way. It goes like this: A very old man and his young son lived during a period of extreme civil conflict. They were considered rich in the village they lived in because they owned a horse. One morning the son awoke to find that the horse had run away. Running to his father, he informed him of this tragedy, saying this was the worst thing that could have happened. His father, in all his wisdom, replied, “Is this so? How do you know what it means?” The next day the boy was working in the barn. He heard the sound of horses galloping in the distance. When he looked up, he saw his horse leading a heard of wild ponies toward him. Seeing this, he ran into the house shouting, “The horse has come back leading a herd. This is the greatest thing that ever happen!” In all his wisdom, the old man replied once again, “Is that so? How do you know what it means?” That afternoon, the boy decided to tame one of the ponies. As he proudly sat atop the new-found gift, the horse bucked, throwing the boy to the ground causing him a broken collarbone and a fractured arm. As he was placed in his bed by his father he said, “All those horses coming is the worst thing that could have happened.” Once again, the old man spoke, “Is that so? How do you know what it means?” The next day, father and son were abruptly awakened by the militia knocking at their door. They were here to take the boy to fight in the civil war. Pointing to the injured boy lying in bed, the old man said, “There he is, take him.” The captain took one look and said, “He’s useless to us.” and left. The boy said, “This is the best luck we have ever had!” And the old man, in his wisdom replied, “Is that so? How do you know what it means?”
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