85 STEP FIVE: BUILDING A STRONG COMMUNITY BUILDING a strong community is different than HAVING a randomly assembled community. Most of our communities consist of people and groups we have collected along the way in both our personal and professional lives. Many of the people and groups we have collected into our community came at different stages of our personal and professional development. Depending on where we are at, in any given time, we are attracted to different things in people. For example, when we are in our teens, we may be attracted to people who are fun to be with and have the same hobbies and backgrounds as we do. In our late teens and early twenties, we may be attracted to people who are very contrary to what we have known so far in our lives. People who may have new and exciting world views and strong political opinions. In our late twenties we may gravitate towards people who are exciting and wild. Perhaps in our thirties we seek out a more intellectual and career minded crowd. People who can help us accelerate our careers and standings. In our forties we may be looking for others who are more aligned on what we think and feel about most things and who we feel we can trust. In our fifties we may be attracted to people who have very similar life situations and midlife issues. And so on. Through all these transitions we acquire quite an eclectic assemblage of people. Many we fall out of touch with over the years and many we see less frequently and become less involved with one another. Some stay on as they grow with us and our interests. And some we hang on to just for the sake of nostalgia and nothing more. One thing for sure is that the type of people we are attracted to and how close we feel to the people already in our lives may change as we change. This can be challenging for most of us since many of us have a prevailing belief that once people come into our lives and we become close to them, there they shall remain forever and ever – no matter what. This prevailing belief can cause quite a bit of upset for us because managing and navigating some of these relationships can be come very tricky and taxing if we overstay our time together.
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