104 P E R S ON A L G R OU N DWO R K F O R C OAC H I N G feeling that they can’t let others down and they are incredibly hurt when others let them down. They have totally forgotten what they need, want, and choose. You will often hear others say the following about obligation addicts: • Gosh, I don’t want to ask her. She is working night and day on that project and hasn’t seen her kids in weeks, but I know if I asked her to come over here for just one or two afternoons to go over these reports, she would do it in a minute. • All he had to do was ask and we would have been there to help. He never asks anyone for help but he’s always the first guy there whenever any of us need him! • He is such a good son. He is there night and day. It’s a shame his sisters don’t ever help. • She really saved me! I would never have gotten the fundraiser off the ground if she hadn’t stepped in and taken over. • He has bailed him out time after time on this same thing. Why doesn’t he just let him mess up and take his medicine! • He has been like a rock through all of this. All smiles and cheer. He was even consoling me when it should have been the other way around! • She can be a bit unpredictable. The kindest, most tender, thoughtful person one minute and then angry at the smallest thing the next minute! Again, it is good to do good things for others. But if they come at the expense of what is most important to you, then they are just a quick access, non-sustaining adrenaline energy source.
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