149 A L I G N W I T H WH AT Y OU S TA N D F O R His boss asked how his family felt about him returning to work so soon. Ted told her that his wife was really upset with him since his mother was left to return home to an empty house and sort through all his father’s belongings alone. She felt Ted could have been more supportive and taken the week to help his mother and ease her back into her daily routine after such a loss. His mother didn’t seem to mind. After all, she was the one who taught him to work hard and keep his nose to the grindstone, and not lose valuable time worrying and dwelling on things he couldn’t do anything about. His boss said this was just the thing she was referring to. She said while she admired Ted’s dedication, she felt his dedication was a bit much and she had a hunch that it was costing him in other areas of his life. When Ted thought more about it, he saw that there were a lot of costs associated with his extreme dedication. He and his wife had many arguments over the hours he worked and often said she wished he had the same level of dedication to their family life. His kids were always saying to him that he worked too much and begged him all the time to do things with them as they grew up. Now, as teenagers, they didn’t have much time at all for him even if he had wanted to spend time with them since they had created their own lives without him. He also thought about how he and his dad loved to go fishing and now his dad was gone, and he had missed his opportunity to have that special time with his dad as an adult. His boss was right. It was time that Ted took a serious look at his exceptionally high standards around work. What statements do you think Ted could put in place to lower the bar on his standards in this area of his life or perhaps some new standards that would keep him focused on other areas of his life that are important to him? I am a person who I am a person who I am a person who
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