87 B U I L D I N G A S T R ON G C OMMU N I T Y People come into our lives and add great richness and learning in a variety of ways. Not always in ways that are comfortable and uplifting. Sometimes through painful, frustrating, and challenging times too. But not all those people are intended to stay in our circle forever. And it may even be that moving apart from one another is the greatest gift we have for each other when that time comes. For example, Julianna always had difficulty standing up for herself and setting boundaries with people who took advantage of her. She was ready to take this on as an area to grow and develop. She knew things would change greatly for her in both her personal life and at work if she could learn to do this well. Julianna’s mentor from her first job, Mary, had become a close friend over the years but the hierarchical position of mentor to mentee had never really evolved into them being true peers. In Julianna's opinion, Mary had taken advantage of this hierarchical positioning by taking it for granted that Julianna would understand lateness, not showing up, or last minute cancellations. Mary always had an explanation but Julianna knew Mary was taking advantage of her previous position as mentor and Julianna's understanding nature. Mary always had a way of explaining things that made Julianna go along with it, but in her heart, Julianna knew Mary was taking advantage of her previous position as mentor and Julianna’s understanding nature. Because of her commitment to develop in this area Julianna decided to have a discussion with Mary to explain how she felt. On that day, Mary listened intently and when Julianna finished, Mary told her that she found Julianna to be incredibly selfish and that she was appalled after all she has done for Julianna. Mary went on to say that it was Julianna’s low self-esteem that had her feeling this way and that after all these years as friends she was very upset that Julianna wanted her to change and be someone she isn’t. She ended the conversation telling Julianna what you see is what you get. Julianna wound up apologizing to Mary and leaving with a sick feeling in her stomach.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTMxNTEyNA==