95 B U I L D I N G A S T R ON G C OMMU N I T Y mind. If this happens, be certain not to make that decision on the spot. Tell the person you will need to think this over and give them a specific time that you will give them your answer. Once you have parted ways you will most likely feel a huge sense of relief but after time you may begin to feel guilty or stressed out about it. Most of us, no matter how angry or upset we are with someone, don’t want them to be hurt or rejected. It is natural to feel this way. This is time to turn to your “A” Team for support and validation of your decision. Be certain not to get the energy to separate yourself from feeling bad by bad mouthing or railing the person you have disconnected. It will only add to what you are feeling in the long run and deplete your energy. Let yourself grieve over the loss of the relationship, if that is necessary, and take pride that you have done something extremely difficult and have grown as a result. Send wishes that the person you have disconnected may have grown from this too once they are over their anger or hurt. CREATING A COMMUNITY OF CHOICE Building a community that sustains and enhances our vitality means collecting and bringing in a wide variety of people to our orbit. Variety or diversity in our community helps us to see the world through the eyes of many others who have different backgrounds, joys, challenges, ideas, and opinions. Each one of them brings a tremendous gift to us by allowing us to see our world in a broader way. Diversity in our community changes the way we judge and evaluate things and teaches us to be more tolerant and understanding in what can be an intolerant and harsh world. But if we don’t learn how to protect ourselves from potentially damaging people, or hurtful situations as we interact with others, we tend to keep our community small and closed, never seeing the richness of our world through the eyes of others.
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