Out of the Box: Play or Sit?
Life is a wonderful game to be played and not watched from the sidelines. That means we have to be willing to take chances and get in the game or we'll never know what it feels like to score a goal, sink a three-pointer, or make a touchdown.
OK, enough with the bad sports analogy. Think about it though, as coaches in order to challenge our clients to play a bigger game, we have to be willing to challenge ourselves. So, when was the last time you took a chance? When was the last time you threw caution to the wind and just went for something?
If your answer is, "I have no clue." OR"Gosh, I don't remember." Don't you think it is time you got off the bench and stepped into a bigger game?
To support you in doing so we want to share the following thoughts to ponder...
- You have much more to gain than you do to lose. It's true, because if you go after what you want and get it, you gained. If you go after what you want and don't get it, you haven't lost anything - instead you have gained some knowledge, right?
- Speaking of knowledge, every experience, good or bad is an opportunity for growth and learning.
- When you allow fear to stand in your way, you are just handing your power over to the fear. We all know it is no fun being powerless.
- Create some awareness around what holds you back. In creating that awareness you have the capability to remove the obstacle or jump over it.
- If you follow your heart, you can't go wrong.
- If you follow your heart, and someone thinks you are silly for it, that says more about them then it does about you. Besides, it really is none of your business what others think of you. It is your business what you think of you.
- Did we mention that you have more to gain than you do to lose?
So what's it gonna be; are you going to sit or are you gonna play?
No Challenge? No Change
by Amy Ruppert, MCC, Chief Learning Officer
Think about what we do as coaches: We listen. We ask questions. We clarify. We reflect the essence of what we hear/observe so that a client can see themselves. And then assist in moving to desired results. What we do is truly brilliant and helpful work. One of the most powerful aspects of coaching that catalyzes significant change is when the coach challenges the coachee. As the coach develops their skill and gains more experience, how they challenge their coachees becomes more sophisticated and indelible. The seasoned coach is willing to go farther out on a limb and ask for big things and risks strong push back from the coachee. The payoff? Shifts happen!
So, as coaches, what are we challenging and how do we do it? Most of the time, the bigchallenges come in the form of very powerful questions. Questions that challenge what's been said or what isn't being said, but implied in the coachee's language and attitude. Another way coaches challenge is to make big requests. The bigger and hairier, the better! The more outrageous, the more powerful they are! Giving the coachee the option to accept, reject or negotiate a request means START BIG! Challenge them to rise into their most audacious self!
Here are some of the most common areas coaches can challenge their coachees and some questions and challenges that can make the 'shift hit the fan' with a coachee.
- Is that really true?
- Who says that's the way it has to be?
- What evidence do you have to support that?
- I'm going to request you find evidence that says YOU CAN do this!
- I'm going to request that you make up the rules about what you believe versus letting someone else do that for you.
- Do you know that for a fact?
- Has he/she told you that themselves?
- Do you really know what it's going to take or are you just guessing?
- I'm going to request that you stop assuming and start KNOWING.
- I'm going to request that you let facts guide your decisions versus guesses.
- From what I'm hearing, this sounds like the same way you approached it last time. Is this the same approach and just a different situation?
- Are you expecting a different outcome from last time?
- I'm going to request that you move out of your comfort zone and into what scares you a little.
- I'm going to request that you stop clinging to what is familiar and be bold with a whole new direction!
- Are you perhaps overpromising?
- What are you basing it on that you/she/he can't do it?
- I'm going to request that you act as if you believe in yourself/her/him and THEN decide what actions a person might take who believed that.
- I'm going to request that you under promise and over deliver instead.
- What might you NOT be seeing or taking into account?
- If you pushed down the walls of how you're looking at this, what would you see?
- I'm going to request that you broaden your viewpoint of this.'
- I'm going to request that you look at this through the eyes of _____________ .
There are so many opportunities for challenging coachees when you are coaching. Listen for them and jump in with both feet!
It's All the Buzz
"The Coaching Out of the Box® 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™ has been a great addition to my practice. There was a gap in the coaching services I could provide to many clients - a quick, interactive training program that quickly educates groups on the "Coach Approach". The 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™ participants consistently walk away with usable skills and a better understanding of the benefits of coaching. The workshop has led to many one-to-one coaching relationships and further group coaching. It doesn't end with the completion of the workshop, the relationships seem to begin!"
Dave Veale, Founder, Vision Coaching
Quote of the Month
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."-Alice Walker
What Would You Do?
You have a coachee/colleague within your organization that you have been coaching for six months and during one of their sessions they bring up a topic that is very important to them, but one you are uncomfortable with. What would you do?
Licensed Trainers Website Listing
There's a section on our web site where all of our Licensed Trainers are listed. If you have completed your certification through Coaching Out of the Box® and would like to have your profile listed on our website please complete the following information and send it in a separate email to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Name (first and last):
Certifications (initials behind your name):
Bio (max 300 words):
If you wish to include a photograph with your listing, please send it as an attachment to your email. Do not paste your picture into a word document as we are unable to process them.