June 2012 Newsletter

Out of the Box: Requesting – The opportunity to ask the World of your Coachee!

by Alison Hendren, CEO, MCC

Many people who learn coaching skills are under the false impression that they should never ask anything of the coachee but simply let them come up with what they are willing to commit to….WRONG!! Requesting is one of the 5 Core Coaching Skills in our 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™ because there are many times when making a request can catapult the coachee to a whole different level or at the very least accelerate movement thru a particular challenge or issue.

A great way to do this is to make a request i.e. “I would like to make a request for you to come up with 3 key strategies that could solve the conflict with your Director in half the time. You can accept, reject or negotiate it. What do you think?” The bottom line is to find a way to ask more of your coachee than they might themselves or support them in seeing something in a completely different way. If the request isn’t quite it, work with them to find one that is and hold their feet to the fire. When we are coaching or being coach-like we are supposed to truly believe that our coachees are capable of so much more and they are! If we don’t make requests that demonstrate we believe it is possible for coachees to solve that problem, achieve that goal, deal with that conflict, realize their dream, soar as a leader, take that risk, learn that new skill, ask for that grant, etc. then we are not being all we can be as coaches! What is the request it is time for you to make?

Team Talk
The Spirit of Making a Request

by Dave Veal, CEC, PCC

I have a request of you – in the next 72 hours you find a hidden talent in three different people. Then make a request of each person to exploit the hidden talent in a way that dramatically supports his or her personal and/or professional growth. Do you accept this request, reject it or would you like to negotiate it?

The art of making a request is one of the 5 Core Coaching Skills within our 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™ framework. Of the five coaching skills we teach, I find that it is the skill of making a request that people latch on to because, I believe, of the power that a request holds.

A request is a fabulous way to honor a person’s brilliance by encouraging them to play bigger, tackle a challenge or move out of their comfort zone. With a request you can challenge a person to take their game up a level while not shaming or bullying them into doing something they are not ready to do. In fact, when you let the person you are making a request of know that they can ‘accept, reject or negotiate’ your request, you are reminding them that they have the all the power. This means if they accept your request they are ready to fully embrace the new possibility that lies ahead of them.

So, what exactly is a request? A request is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as ‘the act or an instance of asking for something’. From a coaching perspective, I think this definition falls short. A request, in my opinion, is made when we see untapped potential or an opportunity not being fully leveraged within a person. A request, at its core, is a gift of possibility available to the person who chooses to receive, carefully unwrap and appreciate the request you have made.

When is the last time that you told a colleague you believe in him or her and asked them to move outside of their comfort zone – to that place where the magic happens? What’s stopping you from sharing the gift of a well-placed request? I hope you ‘accept’ my request above and become a conduit to support others. As Anatole France so eloquently states, ‘To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.’

Calendar of Events

Join us for the following cutting-edge training opportunity and bring coaching to your corner of the world or organization:


Next program starts Tuesday, September 25, 2012, 10am – 11:30am Pacific/ 1pm to 2:30pm Eastern for eight (8) consecutive Tuesdays.

To obtain a copy of our calendar of events, please click here.

Quote of the Month

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”-Paulo Coelho

If you ask a “stinker” question, don’t be afraid to say so and re-ask. A coachee never minds.

Challenge yourself and your coachees by stepping outside the box. With every experience comes learning.

Be human and vulnerable. That is what your coachees connect with any way. 😉

Licensed Trainers Website Listing

There’s a section on our web site where all of our Licensed Trainers are listed. If you have completed your certification through Coaching Out of the Box® and would like to have your profile listed on our website please complete the following information and send it in a separate email to listing@coachingoutofthebox.com or dotty@coachingoutofthebox.com.

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If you wish to include a photograph with your listing, please send it as an attachment to your email. Do not paste your picture into a word document as we are unable to process them.

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