Resource Library
Welcome to our resource library where you will find articles, webinars, videos and anything else that will further you along your coaching journey. Search or use any of these tags to help find your tips.
How to destroy a perfectly good employee
The Coaching Out of The Box® team got together for a planning meeting and got into a good conversation about employee motivation. What follows is the thoughts we had and we would love to see you add to the list!
What do I do when my boss sucks the life out of my team?
I’m wondering if you can give me some advice on managing my boss. I am really into trying to build on the positive with employees and I spend a lot of time in our staff meetings trying to give credit where it’s deserved and cast management decisions in a positive light. However, my boss tends to follow up my comments by saying something that sucks all the positivity out of the room. He is a really good guy and I don’t think he realizes the does it, but he speaks badly of former and current employees to me with the office door open so the people who sit nearby can hear. He also acts like employees can’t be trusted. We recently participated in a top 100 Companies to Work For survey, and people came to me and asked if I wanted us to win or if I wanted them to be honest. Of course I want honesty, but it concerns me that they would ask. Also, I recently conducted a peer review wherein employees were asked to finish the following statements about each of their peers: please do more of this, please keep doing this, and please do less of this. The response for my boss was overwhelmingly to stop making negative comments and treating employees as if they are expendable. I’m nervous to bring this up with him, because I don’t think he even realizes he does it, but I feel like there is a consistent pattern wherein he negates praise or recognition with a small but cutting comment.
Mindfullness- helping us to take coaching “mainstream”
When some people hear the word mindfulness, they immediately dismiss it as some esoteric Eastern meditation practice or New Age mumbo jumbo. However, mindfulness is an important ability to work on for coaches – or anyone else.
First, let me clarify what I mean by “mindfulness.” There are multiple views of what mindfulness is and is not, but in the most general sense, we can think of several levels of mindfulness, ranging from a basic level of awareness up through the sharp internal mental focus of a longtime meditator or yoga practitioner. For our purposes here, I am referring to a more open-minded awareness of others and of the environment itself, rather than awareness of one’s own internal processes and thoughts. Internal mindfulness is certainly a great topic, but it’s one for another day.
Service in 7 inch heels
The following is a guest post from Tom Maher “the Musician’s Coach” who we met at the recent ICF conference. No more introduction needed, this blog post will give you a great sense of the man behind the “heels”!
If you haven’t met me before, let me introduce myself. My name is Tom Maher and I am a professionally trained and certified life coach. I also professionally impersonate Paul Stanley of KISS in KISS Tribute Bands. Some would think this is an unusual combination, but for me, it works.
I was recently asked how I can be authentic as a coach when I spend so much time being someone else, or “inauthentic”. I told them that no matter how much of Paul or Paul’s mannerisms I try to emulate, I always make sure that I am shining through that trademark star.
Managing Performance or Coaching?
When managers take the 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program from Coaching Out of the Box® there is often a lively discussion about where the line is between managing and coaching. So I’d like to take a minute here to give you my take on this.
Professional coaches are trained to step away from their own agendas and assumptions in order to coach most effectively. They hold an open space for the people they are coaching to discover their own resourcefulness by supporting and encouraging them to reach deep into their own wisdom and creativity to discover answers and solutions for themselves. Managers usually don’t have this luxury. They have deliverables that must be met and must manage performance to meet them. This almost always means there is an agenda for the manager when they enter into performance conversations. So if this is the case, why should managers even go to the trouble to learn coaching skills?
My Vision for the Year Ahead
Recently our core team met in Toronto and sat down to define our overarching vision. We had an amazing time and this exercise reconnected us to the power of coaching and to what we’re most passionate about. Together we agreed on our vision: Every human spirit ignited. Igniting spirits is what got me into coaching so many years ago. Our team is absolutely passionate about mobilizing people and getting them focused on moving forward and making progress.
New Year Opportunities, Goals and Dreams
If you are like most of us as we enter a new year, you are creating a plan that may include new behaviors, ideas, strategies and actions to achieve a desired outcome (dream or goal). Yes? I know that it is absolutely true for me and true for those in my household. My husband and my three daughters have all made reference to ‘changes’ they want, with statements like: “In the new year I will….” or “This year I will be better at….” or “My goal for 2013 is to pay attention to……”. Sound at all familiar? Of course!
As I listened to them, and to my own thoughts about what I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year, I went into thinking as a coach (no surprise) and asked myself the following questions:
Play or Sit?
Life is a wonderful game to be played and not watched from the sidelines. That means we have to be willing to take chances and get in the game or we’ll never know what it feels like to score a goal, sink a three-pointer, or make a touchdown.
OK, enough with the bad sports analogy. Think about it though, as coaches in order to challenge our clients to play a bigger game, we have to be willing to challenge ourselves. So, when was the last time you took a chance? When was the last time you threw caution to the wind and just went for something?
Curiosity: A key element of the Coach Approach
Think about what we do as coaches: We listen. We ask questions. We clarify. We reflect the essence of what we hear/observe so that a client can see themselves. And then assist in moving to desired results. What we do is truly brilliant and helpful work.
And, what we do is not enough. Who we are being while coaching, is as important as what we are doing. This highlights an important guiding principle in our work as coaches: Curiosity. We must be curious Simply, if we are curious, we actually stimulate discovery, new awareness and ultimately results.
Assuming this is true, how can be learn to be more curious? Ciskszentmihalyi stated in his book “Flow”, that…..”…..we can develop our curiosity (and fight boredom) by making a conscious effort to direct our attention to something in particular in our environment.” So, if we direct our attention fully to our clients and become explorers, curious as to what we will discover together, this will actually enhance our ability to even BE curious!
A Child-Like Perspective
Have you ever watched a child pick up something and investigate it as if it were the coolest thing they have ever seen? They often explore what we might consider the most simple things with a wide-eyed curiosity and enthusiasm. It is a beautiful thing to see; to see a child so present in the moment, learning, and enthralled by the things surrounding them.
Isn’t it true that as adults we sometimes get so lost in all the day-to-day that we sometimes don’t see what’s around us? We forget to be present in the moment, clouding our ability to see the great learning experiences and fantastic opportunities. Heck, we even forget to breathe!
How does the color blue suit you?
